Vomitron

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 11:55:43 GMT

I almost forgot to say, guess who I ran into yesterday?
It's been two years since I've seen her down this way
We talked till the sun came
Then we walked, just ignored the rain
Hanging out was almost the same
only without all the doubt, without all the pain.
Made me think that when you think things are done -- Now I know you can really love only one -- But you can't give up on the first one because the honesty comes with age.'

Riding my bike to and from work makes me hate my job less but I also think it makes my coworkers hate me more because I'm pretty sweaty when I get here.
Eh, suck it.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 13:38:57 GMT

I'm in a rut.
So, what's next?

Woke up a few days ago and realized I've been working and waiting for something that's never gonna happen.
I'm a fool.
I'd rather be traveling anyway.

I'll wait out the winter in Florida.
Next Spring, I'm disappearing.

If I hadn't learned so much about myself in the past year and a half, I'd be pissed that it was such a waste of my time.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Mon, 25 May 2009 15:21:18 GMT

GOD DAAAAAAMNIT.
soup brain. poop brain.
thanks, bro.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 23:43:25 GMT

costa rica this year sounds like a good idea. who wants to come? tickets are cheap. save your pennies.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 12:57:21 GMT

signed my lease last night.
move in monday at noon.
who's gonna sleep on my couch sometimes when i get one?
i'm gonna need another job or i'm gonna be really lonely haha.
i guess i'll start looking when i move in.
nothin else to do.
i'm gonna be late for work today.
whoopsieeeeeeeees.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 23:48:12 GMT

I'm moving in to my new apartment on the 9th. I've volunteered Foster to help me move in. We'll see if he leaves.

Paid my car insurance premium today.
Going to switch the tags out tomorrow.
Move into my apartment on the 9th.
There it is.
Full time job. Car. Apartment.
Guess I live in Gainesville now.
For real, though.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 01:24:48 GMT

Hell yeah, new apartment.
If I take it, I'll be moving in March 15th.
Before I tell the girl for sure, I'm gonna go check out another place on my lunch break tomorrow. Kind of for the hell of it but mostly because it's 70 bucks a month cheaper.
But I'm so in love with the first one.
It's got everything I could possibly want.
Ground level.
Hardwood floors.
11 foot ceilings.
Crown molding and 4 inch baseboards.
A screened in porch.
Huge bathroom with a bathtub (not a claw foot but I'll deal)
ADORABLE kitchen with original sink, counter and hardware.
Original windows. LOTS of them.
Washer and dryer.
Back patio.
Period light fixtures.
Within my budget.
Oh, my goodness. So in love.

Ferguson and I would be so happy.

I'm gonna have to start looking for furniture haha.
Right now all I have is a trunk, a tv, various random musical instruments and a suitcase. I can't really sleep on any of those things.

At least for now it's okay to take life in smaller doses.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 05:53:03 GMT

Why can't I EVER like someone that lives in the same town that I do? WTF
Every time I have a crush on someone they have to live somewhere I can't get to on a regular basis. I just wanna snuggle after sharing a joint. Maybe I have some deep seeded commitment issues and subconsciously choose to be more attracted to people I can't feasibly have a functioning relationship with.

Jesus. That makes entirely too much sense.
HAHA. Dicks. Life's good anyway.

The next few months will suck because I'll be working 13 hour days Monday-Friday but this summer is going to be TIZIGHTTTTTTTTTTTT.
Then when fall comes around I'll have so much money I'll buy hookers for OTHER people, bathe in a shower of diamonds, sleep wrapped in cashmere and wipe my ass with silk.

Suck it, suckers. It's only 3 days in and 2009 is already exponentially better than 2008.
The mind is a powerful thing.

Fuck ya. It's party time.
Fuck you, Katie. We should be enjoying my upbeat attitude together, you cunt. I'll be seeing you soon. ;]

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 18:22:17 GMT

i keep having good dreams
good dreams that turn into bad dreams as soon as i wake up.
unless my dreams are gonna come true, just let me sleep forever.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 15:39:12 GMT

I'll never be able to put it all into words.
The right words don't exist.

and it's a long way back to a place once called home.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 19:07:30 GMT

nashville or bust.
make my way toward portland in march.
can't guess how long it'll take us to get there.
going the long way with our feet and our packs.
my feet are excited.
i miss that smell: sweat, smoke and stale beer.
i smelled that a lot this weekend.
sitting on couches on porches while the fog rolled in.
luke warm beer.
kids riding by on their bikes.
sometimes i forgot i was in florida and not tennessee.
it felt like home.
the way the house on delta did.
DFL.
the way the house on kentucky did.
i wish there was only one state and one town.
and everyone i love lived in it.
and we all sat on the same porch drinking the same beers together.
instead of doing exactly the same things at exactly the same time with hundreds and hundreds of miles between us.
it's hard to come to terms with.
knowing that will never be a reality.
unless i start loving less people.
why isn't clinton here yet?

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 15:35:16 GMT

Ugh. You give me awful dreams.
I can't wait to see Foster.
Everything is falling into place.
Things are almost as they should be and I can definitely live with almost.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 06:17:18 GMT

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
Everything is awesome
but also so gay.
so awesomely gay.
but mostly awesome.
and a little gay.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 21:02:42 GMT

I've decided to sell my eggs.
People will pay thousands for my genes.
My impeccably beautiful genes.
Gives me an excuse to quit smoking.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 18:02:10 GMT

but nothin' can change the fact that we used to share a bed.
that's why it scared me so when you turned to me and said:
"yeah, you look like someone. yeah, you look like someone who up and left me low. Yeah, you look like someone I used to know"

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 16:22:53 GMT

There it is again.
That overwhelming feeling of fear and guilt.
It took three years to get me here so I can only imagine it'll take at least that long to recover. Like slowly counting backwards from one million. A few deep breaths between every number, every moment, every day.
Diving too deep for my own good to find the truth.
No life guard on duty.
Swim at your own risk.
Through the haze and blackness of the bottom of the ocean, I see it as a treasure chest buried in the sand. I can see it beckoning to me by way of the sporadic rays of light that penetrate that many miles down, glinting off the shiny gold of the lock. Like a lighthouse directing sailors to the shore.
On and off.
On and off.
I carry the key on a chain around my neck. Always have and the weight is so heavy my head hangs too low to see you eye to eye and you interpret this as shame.
As I approach it, my hands get shaky like faulty wiring.
There's a sudden tension in my stomach that tells me I shouldn't open it but my ego is too big to just let it alone.
Instead, I lie to myself and say that I need the weight of this key lifted off my shoulders or I won't have the strength to make it back to the surface.
Never considering the weight of the chest.
"I just have to see what's inside. Even if I can't bring it back with me. I've been holding my breath down here for too long. I just want to breathe again."
I steady my digits just long enough to lift the chain off my neck and fit the key in the lock. With the chain and key gone I can feel myself floating upward. I'm so much lighter without that burden.
"Shouldn't that be enough? Isn't this what you wanted?"
"No, I have to see what's inside."
Foolish.
Selfish.
Greedy.
Glutinous.
Ungrateful.
"I don't care. I have to know the truth."
Finally, I turn the key and the lid bursts open with a frightening swiftness. That sickening tension travels from my stomach.
The shaking of my hands has subsided.
For brief moment I feel nothing.
Then suddenly, that tight, tense grip on my gut has returned but this time it's around my throat. I start to wrap both my hands around it and I feel not my skin but thick scales dressed on cold, rubbery tubes.
Immediately I realize that the removal of the lock wasn't the reason the lid of the chest exploded open but that I'd finally freed a hellacious serpent that had been trapped inside. I gasp for air through the tiny passage of my cinched esophagus but only water fills my lungs.
"I told you this was wrong. I told you that you'd pay. I told you to leave the key and this would all be over. You had a choice and you chose selfishly. This did not have to be your fate."
The black gets blacker and the cold gets colder.
My hands start to shake more violently than ever but the serpent won't let me die.
"Apologies will get you nowhere. This was a test that you did not pass. You chose truth over trust and for that you are not worthy of the surface. Not the warmth of the sun nor a breath of air. Not the light nor the breeze. Alone with your truth. Alone with your serpent."
I'm counting backwards because down here, I've only found nothing to look forward to.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 13:48:04 GMT

I've heard people say this life is about trust.
I've also heard that it's about separation.
I've heard it's about letting go.
I wonder.
I don't disagree but I don't trust anybody.
I never have.
The one thing I have complete and total faith in is the law of attraction. That you can't fake or hide from. You get what you give. My head is one big mess of contradictions.
"Everything will be fine. Everything will be all right."
Nothing gets under my skin more. Something said to console. Something said to ease your worries. But the hypocrisy of non-believing is that I know everything will be fine. If I want it to be. God has a plan. Trust in this life. Separate. Let it go. Whatever will be will be.
"Thou hast do nothing."
Will the world as we know it collapse tomorrow? In my heart of hearts, I hope so. I think.
My heart is hopelessly hopeful and my brain is undoubtedly the biggest doubter I've ever known.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Thu, 01 May 2008 03:43:57 GMT

Every human being experiences everything from both the receiving and delivering end of every situation. Unfortunately, to be fully aware of this karmic cycle you have to experience something painful from the receiving end rather than from perspective of the deliverer. Chances are, if someone is delivering pain to you, you have delivered the same pain in the past. Whether it be in this life or one before. I have been lucky enough to experience something I heard referred to as 'instant karma.' So far, everything I have delivered in this life, I have received and while the pain of receiving is substantial, it's not nearly as great as the pain of realizing that you have caused someone to feel that same pain before. The good part about this is, if you're paying attention, you'll be aware when this happens and you have the opportunity to learn from it. I feel for the ones who never see it, for they are the ones who will experience the most suffering.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 02:21:02 GMT

I SAW A GIANT IGUANA TODAY HANGING OUT ON THE SIDEWALK ON THE WAY HOME FROM THE BEACH! IT HAD TO BE AT LEAST 4 FEET LONG. SHIT IS WIIIIIIIILD!

cutest story ever alerrrt

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 04:03:50 GMT

So there's this kitty that hangs out in my backyard. I think she belongs to one of the neighbors but she comes over through a hole in the fence everyday and we hang.
Today was just like any other day. We were hanging out in the backyard. Talking, playing, cuddling like we do and then I got in the pool and decided to float around on a raft and get some sun.
She went and sat under the picnic table for a minute and then came over to the edge of the patio. She sat down and looked at me for a second and so I paddled over there and started to pet her head. After a minute of that she crawled onto the raft with me and then fell asleep on my stomach and we floated around the pool together for about 20 minutes. After that I took her off me and landed her back poolside. I didn't want a kitten shaped tan line.
It was pretty much the cutest thing that's ever happened to me.
The end.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 19:12:39 GMT

killmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmkillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmeekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmkillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmeekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmkillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmeekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmkillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmeekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillmekillme

TURDS TURDS TURD TURDY TURD TURDS.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 00:54:01 GMT

I SAID NO TO DRUGS!!!!!
HOORAY!

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:02:26 GMT

So, last night I had a panic attack, fainted and fell into the middle of the street. Evidently, I almost got hit by a car but I was out cold so I wasn't aware of that part. I must have hit face first because the left side of my face is really bruised. I'm done drinking my sorrows away. Being upset is that much worse when you're drunk. I've got a pretty weak stomach when it comes to emotions anyway so adding liquor into the mix equals puke city. I'm deciding to be okay with being sad when I'm sad. It's a part of life. The yin and the yang. So, if I feel like crying, I'm going to cry. As opposed to getting wasted to pretend like I don't. I'm not going to wallow or sulk, but I am going to feel my feelings and I'm not apologize for them, anymore. I've spent my whole life worrying about how other people think of me. No wonder I'm always so tired but can't ever sleep. Things are going to be okay. I just have to start making them that way.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 03:11:29 GMT

Shit is oh so good 90% of the time, now.
The other 10% of the time, I just drink the bad away.
So really, shit is just plain fabtastic. Even if a small percentage is just a drunken facade, at least I'm drunk and smilin'.
Being as tan as I am doesn't hurt either.
Lookin' good and feelin' good.
Jose and I make a wonderful couple.
The only downside to our relationship is that he has no arms or legs so we can't hold hands when we walk down the street and even though he gets me wasted every time we're together, just once I wish he could carry me when I'm too drunk to stand. I don't complain, though. He's great to me and he never interrupts me when I talk.

slowxyourxroll@aol.com — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 15:43:52 GMT

Rule number one (If you fit into any category of living creature):
Never trust an Asian.

Rule number two (If you're a man):
Never trust a woman that can party harder than you can.

Rule number three (If you're me):
Never make a life changing decision in the winter time. Everything seems far more dire when it's cold than it is in reality. Best possible solution? Bundle up and wait 'til the snow passes. You'll realize you have everything you want where ever you are, the weather just likes to pop-quiz you on your mental stability and zen-sustaining efficiency (proficiency).